Growing
by PCBW
Summary: A sequel to my story A New Life. This deals with Kathryn and Chakotay as new parents and their continued endeavour to cross the Delta Quadrant and get home. Reviews are much requested and if you guys have anything you'd like to see in the story, let me know!
1. Chapter 1

A lone cry rings though the dark silence, eliciting another. Now, the combined harmonization of the two rouses both of us from a sound sleep. Our skin is sticky and there's a slight peeling sensation as we disentangle, ambling fitfully to find our robes.

The bed is so inviting. I know that I should be selfless and bolt up at the start of the babies' crying, but the truth is that I'm exhausted. Between work, being a new mother, and still having an insatiable sexual appetite for my husband, I'm dog-tired.

"You go," I fall back onto the pillow.

I hear an incredulous laugh and then a kiss on my brow. "There are two of them, Kathryn. No" another kiss and a hand tugging at my own, "you're coming with me."

"Ungh," I groan. "Okay," I smirk deviously, "but I you're going to pay for this later."

"Let me remind you," I he grins, "That it was my 'payments' that got us into this".

I shrug on my robe while I admire his strong, tawny form in the half-light of our quarters. He's beautiful and I don't think that I'll ever stop thinking that. His back is turned to me as he pads around the room looking for his boxers. "You're staring at me, Kathryn." He smiles over his shoulder.

I'm not even going to blush. If I want to admire my handsome husband's naked form, I will do so without any hesitation. I simply grin cunningly as he shrugs on his loose pinstripe shorts and we head to the opposite end of our now large, generously family-sized quarters.

"What do we have here?" A tiny pink form squirms and continues her exclamations of discontentment. I turn and meet a tall man holding a similarly malcontent brown bundle.

"Hungry?" I ask Renee seriously as I brush past my husband, moving into the living area.

"I think this one is." I feel a weight sit next to me and I lay my tired head on his broad shoulders.

"You know, Chakotay, I think my chest is going to fall off. My breasts hurt constantly with these two – not to mention all the fun you're getting out of them."

He snickers, "who's first?"

"No," I shake my head, "only one tonight. There's some milk that I pumped yesterday in the replicator. You're in charge of Anna."

"Aye Captain," he mock salutes me as he ambles towards the kitchen area.

"You know," He saunters back, "I can't help it if I find you irresistible. You and your chest." He kisses my long, messy, post coital bed curls.

"I'm not complaining," I smile, remembering his passion earlier this evening…. practically every evening. We're still newly weds, despite the fact that we have two kids. And, we've spent 5 years waiting for one another. Well, that's not the truth; I think that we've been waiting longer than that.

I feel the infant latch onto my nipple, "Owch!" I roll my eyes, "No matter how many times either of them do this, it still hurts!"

I just receive another kiss in the new silence of the quarters, "So," he begins against my mouth.

"So?" I'm fixated by the small, pale little infant cradled against me. I can't believe how much she's grown! She's come a long way from that vulnerable, transparent sick little baby weighed down heavily by Borg armor. Every day she mesmerizes me and I still can't believe that she's ours.

"So what do you think of that plan by Reg Barclay? Do you really think it could get us home?"


	2. Chapter 2

I hang my head. We haven't spoken of the new plan that Reg sent us since we received the data stream earlier this afternoon. "No, I don't know, Chakotay. A part of me wants it to be true. But, like all of our previous attempts to get home, this one sounds too good to be true!"

Anna begins to fuss, letting him know that she's done with her meal. He removes the bottle and places it gently on the table as he begins to rock her tiny form back to slumber. "I know."

"I read the whole report from front to back, all the subtexts and all the algorithms… it's a sound plan. He's localized a wormhole that's not too, too far from here. It would work… but Chakotay – I don't know." The tugging on my left nipple slackens as I feel the little form fall back to sleep much like her sister. I look up, as I position her gently on my shoulder to burp her. "Let's put the two munchkins back to sleep and try to get some shut-eye ourselves. There's a lot that coffee can compensate for, but I'd like not to have to rely on it so much now that I'm breastfeeding."

/

"Ugh," I hear myself breathily croak against a solid chest. "I hate that alarm!"

"Mmmm…" I feel a warm rush of air against my hair in response to my complaint.

I angle closer to the human radiator, "let's just sleep in. The girls haven't made a peep. Let's just tell Tuvok that we're planning an unscheduled inspection of the hydroponics bay!"

A rumble of sleepy laughter vibrates my side, "Hydroponics, Kathryn? If we're going to lie about sleeping in, let's at least make it believable!"

"You're right. But, it was a nice thought…." It takes every ounce of my resolve to once again peel away from him and amble out from under the warm blankets. I don't realize what an enticing picture I'm providing to the man looking on at me. I shrugged off my robe after the late night feeding and I slept naked. I've had a lucky pregnancy; I didn't really gain anything other than Anna, and the rest of the weight went to my breasts. It was a truly ideal scenario. But, even though my husband hopes that the increased cup size will stay, I'm secretly hoping that they'll eventually go down. Yes, I know that I said that I was always insecure about my size, but now that they're so much bigger, I find them cumbersome. Now, I know why Seven wears such intense bras (not that I've seen any of them, but come on… her chest never moves)!

In the slight cacophony that I create to gather my uniform, I don't hear him come up behind me. I smile as his erection hits my bottom, which is starting to grow damp in anticipation of him.

"Chakotay," I whisper. "We're already late! I have to get a shower!"

"Uh huh," warm kisses are feathered down the curve of my neck. "Let's shower together…"

How can I say no? "Ok, but be quick! We still need to get the girls to daycare before we leave for Alpha shift!"

I hear him smirk through a kiss, "Kathryn, with you, I don't think fast is going to be an issue."

/

"Chakotay! That wasn't fast – that was twice!"

I see his smirk as he affixes his Maquis rank insignia, "yes well I didn't hear you objecting."

No. He didn't. He never does. Damn man. "Okay, we have 10 minutes to get these two little rabbits to daycare and get to the bridge."

"We have a senior staff meeting, remember?"

"Crap. What was on the docket today again?"

"Remember?" He plants a kiss on a pale pink forehead as he gathers Renee into his arms. "We have to go through the data in the last stream from Starfleet."

"That's right. We might as well bring up Reg's latest theory to bring us home… but I'm not looking forward to that same look on poor Harry Kim's face…"

I turn from the mirror and see him holding to babies on either arm. My heart melts and I move in to kiss him. "I think you're underestimating Harry Kim."

"Oh?" I move into the living room, gathering the baby bag.

"Harry's happy now. He's settled. He and Tal are starting a family. He's no longer itching to get home to Libby; I think he can handle it." And then I see it dawn on him, "I think you're the one who's going to be dejected if this doesn't work out. Why, Kathryn? We've dealt with these situations before and you've never been this agitated."

I drop the bag and plop down on the ottoman. Sometimes, I hate that he knows me this well; I can't get away with anything. "You're right!" I exclaim as I rub my tired eyes. "I want to get home this time more than I've ever wanted to get home…" I let out a defeated sigh, "I just want these two little girls to be safe. I want to have a house where they can run and play in the back yard. I want them to meet their grandmother and aunts and be spoiled by them! Ugh, Chakotay, I just want our lives to be settled. I don't want to worry about our safety every day. I hate living with this pall over my head that I could lose you!" I don't mean to, but I'm still hormonal and I start to cry.

I feel his weight depress the seat next to me on the white footrest, "Kathryn, you're not going to lose me." I look at the two little girls cradled on either of his arms and my fears are once again renewed.

"You don't know that. I'm just scared of getting my hopes up and then us failing again."

I feel a warm kiss on my brow, "Whatever happens, Kathryn, we'll take it in stride and deal with it together as a family."


	3. Chapter 3

"That's it?" B'Elanna sighs, leaning back in her chair opposite me. "Captain, I just don't know if it's worth it!"

I hear Harry Kim's exasperated, "Captain, no offense to Reg, but what is this, like our seventh attempt to beat the odds and get home?"

I feel my face of steel coming on as I watch Harry's form glower, "your point, Mr. Kim?" I sneer.

He bows his head, "I'm sorry, Captain, but-"

I get up out of my chair, everyone's eyes are on me, "We have to get home! We can't just stop trying to get back to our families just because we've started our own. I don't want us to get comfortable out here!" I look around, "I don't want you to think that just because things are settling down on this ship, that we can abnegate our primary goal – which is to get back to Earth."

"I'm sorry, Captain." Harry concedes. "You know as well as anyone else how eager I am to get back. But, I just don't know if this incredible scheme is going to work."

"He's right," Tom interjects. "In order for Reg's plan to work, conditions are going to have to be completely textbook. I just don't know…"

"We'll try anyway!" I'm angry, and a little surprised with my crew. I know, I know. Everyone's getting a little tired of these ridiculous schemes to get us home. Every time we get so excited only to have everything fall flat. But this time…. This time I need it to work.

My thoughts drift two floors down to two little girls. Even just the thought of them brings out a fierceness in me that I never imagined could exist. I don't want them to experience the childhood of Naomi Wildman. I know, I chide myself, I know that Naomi is happy and fulfilled here on Voyager. She's surrounded by all of us, who love and cherish her. But, if we stay out here, she'll never be able to wake each morning and run outside, feeling fresh terran dirt under her feet. She'll never jump into a lake on a hot day, feeling the cool water refresh and renew hot, sun-scorched skin. But more than that, she'll never be truly safe. Chakotay always reproves me, saying that just being in the Alpha Quadrant doesn't guarantee safety; he right. But, it makes it a helluva lot more likely.

Chakotay speaks up, his voice different in this room and on the bridge than in our quarters, "Captain," he asserts professionally. I don't think he realizes it, maybe he does, but his voice calms me and brings me back to the present. "If we modify the shield harmonics-"

He's cut off by Seven, whose steel feature display an epiphany, "Captain, using the Borg modifications to the shields, I'm confident that we can accurately recreate the conditions that Mr. Barclay stipulates."

I nod. "Good, Seven, get started on making those modifications as soon as possible."

"Aye, Captain."

I look over at Tom whose head is resting in his hands, "Tom, lay in a course for the location of the worm hole."

He raises himself, "Aye, Captain."

"B'Elanna, help Seven with the modifications."

She nods her head, "The rest of you are dismissed. Let's see if we can finally get home."

The conference room begins to empty, but my husband stays behind. I was hoping he would. I wouldn't ask him. Obviously, we're married. No one would think anything of it if I asked him to remain; No one would read into it. Still… but he knows.

I feel his hand come to rest on my shoulder, "We'll try, Kathryn. And if this doesn't work, we'll keep trying."

I turn back to him, molding my form into his own. I feel warm arms envelope me, covering me with his heat, his smell, and his presence. "I want this to work, Chakotay…"

I feel a kiss on my head as I continue, "I've started to let myself get all excited about seeing my mom again. It's been months since we saw her and Phoebe on the video call. I so badly want her to meet Anna and Renee. God, Chakotay I hate doing this!"

"Kathryn," he steps back, "stop. We'll get home. Even if we don't get there this time, we'll eventually find a way. But, for now, let's focus on this attempt. It's a long shot, but Barclay thinks it will work. And if there's anyone who can turn a long-shot into an actual possibility, it's Kathryn Janeway."

I smile and let out a small laugh at his confidence in me. He gives me strength. It's moments like these that I wonder how I pushed him away for so long. How did I deny this to myself? How could I have spent so long refuting him? My musings lead me to grip him with a greater fervor, "You're right," I smile, "Let's give it the old college try."


	4. Chapter 4

I know I shouldn't drink it. Kathryn, I chasten myself, don't drink that coffee. The cup is staring at me, taunting me. The familiar aroma is weaving a spell around me, beckoning me into familiar territory. Why did I replicate it? Habit, I tell myself. Damn it, Kathryn! I see my hand move to the warm mug of its own accord. Maybe… maybe I could just replicate decaf and tell myself that it's real. Yes. That's what I'll… "Computer one –" No. That won't work. I'll know it's decaf… it's no use!

Screw it; I'll just go to bed. This work can wait till morning.

The walk to my quarters is automatic. I feel a tinge of self-loathing as I make my way to the door. I wasn't home for dinner this evening; I was working late with Seven in astrometrics fiddling with the shield harmonics and running diagnostics in preparation for our execution of Reg Barclay's newest plan to get us home. Reason number two why I want to get home: I'd like to eat dinner with my family on a regular basis. I pause before the door picks up my presence. If we make it home… what am I going to do? Will I stay in Starfleet? Will the Maquis be pardoned? A sudden wave of nausea overtakes me. What if the Maquis are sentenced? What if they take my husband away from me? Oh God… The urge to be near him is overwhelming, reactive. In a moment, I start to wonder if getting home really is the most prudent action.

I take another step, my presence indicating to the doors that it's their queue to open.

It's quiet in here. Why wouldn't it be? It's after 10.

"Chakotay," I call out tentatively. The quarters are large, and I'm not sure why I'm whispering. It's not like either of the girls would hear me if I spoke normally.

"Kathryn?" I hear a sleep filled voice coming from our bedroom. Damn him. "Damn you, Chakotay," I laugh seeing him walk out…. Naked. "Will you ever learn to put your clothes on?"

"When the kids are older. For now," he saunters over and grabs me, "I just like taunting you."

"Mmm…" I settle against his chest, feeling him harden against me. I let out a small giggle at his response, "How do you do that?"

I feel a warm kiss on my head, "What?"

I roll my eyes. He knows what. "Oh that?" His kisses trail down to my nose and lower to capture my lips. I'm caught up in the warmth of his tongue sliding against mine and the frustrations of my day and my angst about the future are quieted. "That, Kathryn," he whispers against my open mouth, "is because I find you irresistible and I can't get enough of you."

Tomorrow's worries and anticipation can wait; tonight I'm satisfied to make love to this man and absorb his strength, as it renews me for the morning.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ugh," I let my head fall and hit the body of the console in front of me. This is the 17th time we've run this same diagnostic with only a minor adjustment. To tell you the truth, I'm frustrated and more than that – I'm tired… and a little bored.

I can almost imagine Seven's expression when I hear her intone, "Captain?" In my mind's eye, I see her straight-back stance as she regards me with one eyebrow cocked in a very Tuvokian fashion. I chuckle inwardly to myself; I wonder if that's where she learned it…

I hold up my hand, "it's nothing, Seven. I'm just tired."

"Then perhaps you should rest." She states it so plainly as if I hadn't thought of it!

I chuckle; if she only knew! "I can't, Seven."

"If you can't sleep, then you should go to the Doctor to acquire a sedative." Her curt responses would be, and usually are, annoying to any other member of the crew. But, over the years, Seven and I have developed a unique relationship. Chakotay has posited that I look upon Seven as my daughter. And, a few years ago, especially when she first came on board, I would have agreed with him. But, now having experienced motherhood, even for just a brief time so far, I would have to amend that position. Now, I would say that I look upon Seven as a friend who I have an extreme amount of patience for. I've trained myself to be amused by her shortness and to praise even her smallest, most primitive attempts at humanity. When I look at Seven, I no longer see a former Borg, but a vulnerable 24-year-old woman who still has a lot to learn. I wonder, if this attempt succeeds and we do get back to Earth, if Seven will adjust. Well, I smile inwardly, I know she will; it's part of her makeup to simply bend to her circumstances. It took her a while, but now she fits in here on Voyager in her own quirky, special way. On Earth, however, she'll have more choices with regards to who she wants to befriend, where she wants to live, what she wants to do. Will she marry? Will she have children of her own one-day? I want all of those things for her and that in itself drives me to peel my forehead away from the cool surface of the console and continue our diagnostic.

Looking at the readouts of the computer is an automatic motion. Line by line, I scan the data and the charts. I'm looking for anything that would interfere with the rift that Reg has suggested that we open. Everything, and I mean everything, needs to be perfect in order for this to have even a snowball's chance in hell of working.  
A wormhole is a very unstable structure. We've come across them before and I would consider them to be one of the most choleric of all spatial phenomena. The rift that we're to superimpose over it is going to have not only open it and stretch it, but also stabilize it. I rub my eyes as I keep scanning the data. If even a tiny decimal point of a calculation is off the wormhole is going to collapse and if we're anywhere near it, we could be taken along with it and end up God knows where. And realistically, that's not a scenario that I'm willing to risk again. Not now when I have so much at stake.

I hear the hydraulic doors to astrometrics hiss open. I turn and look at the entrant, eager for any distraction from this tedious work. I smile when my eyes register who it is. Chakotay and I try not to be affectionate when we're on duty. But, to be honest, since we first became intimate – well even before- his small touches, glances, and even an occasional arm around the small of my waist is comforting. I used to think that they would distract me, but now I realize that those small gestures focus me and reassure me. This moment is no different.

Seven's back is turned and in her ambivalence he ambles towards me with a small smirk and wraps his arm around my shoulders. He quickly looks to see that Seven is still turned before he lays a soft kiss on my hairline. I smile and wearily lean into the touch.

Pulling back he hands me the small black padd he's carrying. "Engineering report from the diagnostic B'Elanna ran on the power systems and levels needed for our latest attempt."

I take the padd from him, scanning it summarily, not really paying attention to the details. "And?" I really hope he's read it because it's 12 pages long and I don't want to read it at this stage.

He frowns, "It's not good. If this attempt doesn't succeed we're going to be stuck with an almost negative deficit in the amount of deuterium. And, we're not near any planets with an ample supply. Essentially, we'd be stuck in space."

I lean into him and bury my face in his chest. "Not even impulse engines?"

I feel him shake his head, "not even impulse engines."

I stand back and brush the stray auburn strand that's naughtily fallen away from its binds, "What should we do?"


	6. Chapter 6

I lean by back against the same cool console, waiting for his response. I see the wheels of thought turning in his head. "It's," he looks away from me over my shoulder towards the big screen. He stays locked in a trance for a moment before continuing, "it's a long shot, Captain. I would hasten to say that this is as big of a long shot as that spatial sling shot that we encountered a few years ago." He looks over at Seven, whose still diligently working and seeming to ignore us. "I keep thinking that maybe this is some grand delusion. I mean," he joins me, leaning his own body against the console before surreptitiously taking my hand, "I keep thinking that maybe this is some great alien trap…"

I smile, "Wouldn't be the first time!"

He nods his head and chuckles, "We have to try. We can't just go this far and not try. I just wish that we had a little more assurance..."

I take my free hand and rest it on the small of my waist before disengaging my other hand from his warm grasp as I start to pace, "Reg and the rest of the scientists at Starfleet wouldn't have laid this out for us if they didn't think that it was feasible."

Suddenly, Seven turns to us, "Yes, Captain, however," she gracefully walks the few paces to stand beside me, "I agree with Commander Chakotay. If you recall, this plan sounds, to borrow the human colloquialism, to good to be true much like Arturis' plan was not just one year ago."

I let out a sigh, remembering with heartbreak what happened to that man. The tension in my temples again reasserts itself, "you're right. But, how can we decipher whether or not this is just another hostile alien attempt to leave us vulnerable, or if it's really possible that this wormhole could lead us to the Alpha or Beta Quadrants?"

"We have no way to know that for sure, Captain," Seven responds nonchalantly. She continues, "If we wait until the next data stream, which is in another month, we will miss the opening of the wormhole which, Mr. Barclay stipulated, might be the last of its kind for another century."

I'm silent, letting this realization sink in. "Alright," I look up at Chakotay and for a moment I allow myself to admire deep mahogany irises before I give my orders. "Chakotay, go ask B'Elanna if there is any way that she could ferret away a small modicum of deuterium, however little, on the contingency that this plan essentially blows up in our faces. We're going to need some way of powering our engines if this whole plan falls flat." I turn to Seven: "Seven, check on sensors if there are any planets within a light year of our current position that might be potential sources of deuterium. If there are, lay in a course to the closest one and send the coordinates to Mr. Paris."

"Aye, Captain," they jointly intone. And with that, work resumes its normal pace. Seven turns her back to us and I once again greedily lean into his large form before he leaves. "I know that," he begins to whisper. "We're all busy, but come home for dinner tonight." I look up, penitent. He smiles in return, gives me a small wink, and retreats.

/

The small tawny infant writhes in my arms, "now," I look down into her beautiful brown eyes, "why can't you be more like your sister, hmm?" I point across the table to Renee's tiny pink form now nestled quietly against her father's chest. Vivianna's mere squirms and occasional grunts of malcontent in a moment turn into a wail, "Oh no," I reposition her. "None of that. We don't want Ren-"

I catch the smile of my husband as another cry joins the chorus of unhappiness. "Too late," he shakes his head, similarly taking the little girl and propping her against his shoulder as he moves to rub her back in small, gentle circles. I should be annoyed that they're crying, but right now I find it humorous. "What did Tal say? Are they like this all day?"

"No," he shrugs his shoulders. "When I picked them up tonight, Tal and Naomi said that Renee and Anna are model babies." He turns and looks into the red face of the crying baby, "aren't you?"

"Oh," I nod my head in amusement, "so it's only the parents who bear the brunt of the bad behavior."

Soon enough the crying dies down, for which both of our ears are eternally grateful. "I think these two cranky girls are just tired, what do you say, Dad?"

He answers to the affirmative, kissing a fatigued pink brow, "I think these two need to hit the sac. What do you say, munchkin?" Another kiss to her sparsely haired blonde head is laid before we move away from the dining room table towards the nursery. By the time we reach their cribs and lay them down, they're practically asleep.

I let my fingers gently linger on Renee's warm, soft head as I feel her fine baby hair. We have to get home. We just have to. You'll be happy no matter where we are; your dad and I will make sure of it. But, there are so many opportunities that I want for you and your sister. There are so many things I want to show you! I want you to wake up in a house nestled on an Indiana plain. I want trips to Grandma's where I show you how to milk a cow, or ride a horse. I want to see the look on your face when we get our first dog. I want midsummer barbeques. I want family camping trips where your father teaches you how to fish and hike. God, I want it all and if we don't get home, you'll never experience any of it.

"Kathryn?"

Initially I don't hear his summon, but then a warm hand on my shoulder and a wet kiss on my neck rouses me and makes me laugh. "Chakotay," I chasten. Turning to him, "do you know what the purpose of night time is?"

He regards me with a crooked smile, "What?"

"The purpose of nighttime is to sleep!" I can't help but laugh softly when his mouth breaks into a full smile and he starts to chuckle.

"Oh really?" He takes my hand and leads me away from the nursery. "I thought that the purpose of nighttime was to make love."

I shake my head, "No, Chakotay. You_ think_ the purpose of the nighttime and the day time is to make love."

He pulls me flush against his tall form, "With you, Kathryn, every moment of every day or every night when I'm not making love to you is a wasted moment."

I playfully swat his chest, "Why do you do that? Now you're making it impossible for me to resist you!"

I lean into him, absorbing the warmth coming off his body. Suggestively I run my hands over his growing arousal, eliciting a moan before his lips hungrily claim my own.

"Tuvok to Janeway" I break the kiss with a chuckle. "Typical." I sigh.

"Janeway here, go ahead Tuvok."


End file.
